I think I'm just about the perfect boyfriend. I'm kind, gentle and friendly. I have a decent sense of humor. I call every night. I follow women blindly. I spend ridiculous amounts of money on them. I know the exact length of the relationship to the hour. I hold hands, write notes and cry at movies.
Being a good boyfriend really stinks. Guys, if you think you have any of the qualities listed above, run and hide. Actually, don't just hide, leave the country, and do it quickly. Because you are being hunted by the most vicious and terrible predator the world has ever known: Woman.
Yes, guys, women are after you. And the sensitive guys are in the most trouble, because women can smell sensitivity like sharks smell blood. They're coming for you, and when they get to you, like you know they will, they'll befriend you at first, and before you know it, they'll have torn your heart to shreds.
That's the worst part about women. They look so cute and innocent that we actually let them near us. Time after time we see it happen. Some poor innocent guy gets fooled into liking a girl. He gets to know her, and soon enough he trusts her and hangs on her every word and action.
We all know what happens next. She'll wait until he's most vulnerable and WHAM, go for the jugular. Then she moves on, looking for her next victim. He is left the shadow of the man he used to be. We see it happen over and over. We feel terrible for him and glad that it didn't happen to us.
But before we know it, it is happening to us. We know we should stay away, but we don't. It's just too much to resist. Women have been granted some power of attraction. Every guy knows it's dangerous, but somehow, we need to get caught. That's right, no matter how many times men are warned, or hurt, we have to go back.
I know I will. I've been dumped as often as any guy. I know that every time I get into another relationship, I'm going to end up hurting, but for some reason I let it happen. Is it really worth it?
The answer, unfortunately, is yes. It's too bad that we poor men are forced to endure all of this pain and suffering, but we know that the fun that we have is worth it. It's the lesser of two evils, I guess. The saying is correct: " 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.
There was an old episode of Sabrina, The Teenage Witch where she created the perfect date for a dance. I think it was to make Harvey jealous. She threw a bunch of qualities into a cake mix or something and literally baked a perfect BF.
Anyway, what would you throw into the mix if you were to create your perfect boyfriend? Let’s see what y’all had to say:
“What constitutes as the perfect boyfriend to you?”
“Well, the perfect boyfriend for me will want to be with me forever. We will very comfortable with each other. We will understand each other. He will treat me like I’m his queen. We can communicate with each other and still have fun with each other, etc.”
“Well, no one is perfect, and he would understand that, and love me not despite my imperfections, but because they make me who I am. He would just be there for me when I need him, respect my wishes and wants, but still push me out of my comfort zone when I need that.”
“The perfect boyfriend would be someone who actually treats me like his girlfriend, someone who’s kind and caring and mature, realizes his mistakes, learns from them and avoids them in the future. He’s proud of me and doesn’t hide me from people, and he treats me like a princess/he’s a gentleman.”
“Someone who loves you for who you really are and wouldn’t want to change anything about you. (except for your last name.) And who will always be there for you so you would have someone to talk to.”
“Simply put, the perfect boyfriend is someone that you are incredibly comfortable with and can see a future with.”
“Someone who is fun, loyal, sweet, someone who lets me do my own thing sometimes. He would be loving and caring, and an animal lover.”
“I would like a boyfriend who will like me for who I am.”
While I definitely think everyone should know what they’re looking for in a significant other, I want to remind you to not get too caught up in your list. When you focus really closely on certain things, you might be overlooking other great qualities that someone has.
The person who you’re not willing to give a shot because they don’t check off every box on your list could be the person who will surprise you the most and end up being a great partner. And the person who does check off every box could surprise you and end up being someone who isn’t so great.
It’s good to have standards and qualities you admire, but ultimately, make sure you’re with someone who respects you, lets you be yourself and who you are comfortable around.
What do you think? What is your perfect boyfriend? Tell us in the comments!
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Posted in: Boards, Health, Sex & Relationships
Tags: boyfriend, crushes, message boards, relationship advice